Monday, 13 September 2010


If you do what you’re meant to do
That is to say: if you have children
(I don’t mean that you’re Really Meant to have children obviously)
(or not obviously)
(because "Who says" what you're Meant to do ET CETERA nonsense)
(but really we know Who Says)
(they all everyone they all do)
(so we know that although you can say that and be nice, we know you're lying)
(we know what we're meant to do)
(just like we know we're not meant to be FAT)
(even though it's supposed to be "ok" or ET CETERA)

As I was saying
You do what you’re Meant To Do
And Have Children
Then you don’t need to worry, do you!
God isn’t going to forsake you for following your biological imperative, now is she!
(I don’t really mean God obviously, because I don’t believe in God)
(or not obviously)
But anyway
As I was saying
You do what you’re Meant To Do
And Have Children
(not Really what you’re meant to do but what our biological imperative requires of us)
(but if that isn’t what you’re meant to do then what is?)
(after all if your parents hadn’t done their duty then you wouldn’t even have the choice)
(not Really duty obviously, because how could love ever be a duty)
(or not obviously)
You don’t need to worry do you:

Although Having Children may not be the right thing to do
It is certainly not the wrong thing to do:
No God in her right mind (not that she exists) is going to burn you in hell for eternity
(not that hell exists)
For following your biological imperative
And anyway you are leaving a legacy in the lives of your descendants,
so you can die happy.
You die, but They Survive.
So you can die happy.
Can’t you!
You can.
Well done.

My point is that
You do what you’re Meant To Do
And Have Children
You have the Smart Money on your side
Because Having Children is the Greased Shoot.
Why take that risk!
Why not just go ahead and do it!
Then you’re covered either way!
Either it doesn’t matter, in which case no problem.
Or it does matter, in which case you did What You Were Meant To Do.

It is those of us who Don’t Have Children who are the ones taking the risk
with their health and sanity and legacy.
They are the ones who really need to have their philosophy well worked out.
They are the ones who need Robust Philosophy,
because they are the ones who are swimming against the crowd.
No one is ever going to ask you to justify Having Children.
They will only ask you to justify Not Having Children.
So its the people who don't have them who need the Robust Philosophy.
See what I mean?

Because they are standing up against their biological imperative
(or else they are just Really Unattractive)
And refusing to breed
And what possible good reason is there for doing that!
I mean I ask you!
What possible reason could anyone have for Not Having Children!

Ok, yes, some of us just simply Are Really Unattractive,
And they should be forgiven – it’s not their fault, you see
But anyone who just isn’t breeding when they jolly well could be breeding
Is well
Is er
Is er well
What are they?
Remind me, can you?
What are they?

They are soon be become Silenced.

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